You know those addictions people get? Not the drug ones, I wouldn't know too much of that, and wouldn't care to. The psychological ones. Where you start twitching, or losing sleep, or grinning insanely /all the time/, because your habits have convinced your mind that whatever you're addicted to is something you can't live without. (Or, in any case, that you can't live without without twitching, losing sleep, or grinning insanely. Brains are weird like that.) And I have something kind of like that now, except actually not like that at all.

I wanna do NaNo so bad. D= I miss the insanity. I miss talking to people (particularly NTWF people ... I still feel like a heel for drifting out of there!) and reading their work. I miss having the motivation to sit down and write and write and write, until my fingers ought to be worn away into small bleeding stubs that make my keyboard all sticky, until I sink into worlds of my own imagining that are poorly punctuated and no less engrossing for that, until my eyes water as though every word was a fresh-peeled onion. Mostly, I miss the joy of trying a new thing, and knowing that, whether it worked or not, I tried.

I had the idea and everything! Sci-fi/fantasy, about Seren the Pathfinder, and a nervous half-breed pyromancer rat thing, and a truly epic sword. I would make stories of the stars, and weave worlds into my web. And I would make it /funny/. But nope, can't do that. xD Was gonna do so in the summer holidays, maybe, but I want to edit Demonling far more than I want to hatch this museling of mine.

And it wouldn't work. When you do NaNo, you know that the world is doing it with you; you share each triumph, each disaster, each marshmallow, with a thousand others, going through the same triumphs and disasters and you. (Though not the same marshmallows. At least, I hope not. That'd be kind of ick.) And doing it any other time ... just isn't the same.

Can't do it in November, though, 'cos of exams. But oh, that doesn't stop the wanting.

Someone please talk me out of this?

... But I'm not addicted. I can stop any time I like. >.>;

Also, one day, I want to act on Doctor Who as the Doctor, the Doctor's companion, and some random alien with, most likely a huge nose. (Here insert a joke about how amusing a crossover between Doctor Who and Firefly would be, considering the entirely different definitions of 'companion'.) I want to write for Doctor Who. I want to write for Torchwood. I want to write for Merlin. I want to write my own urban fantasy TV series. I want to write a musical. I want to write novels (this is the main one). And, I must confess, there is some small part of me that also wants to tour the world as a travelling herdy-gerdyist/storyteller, which would be somewhat difficult seeing that I cannot, in fact, play the herdy-gerdy, and do not, in fact, have a herdy-gerdy to play.

*looks at list* ... Am I ambitious or what? ^___^